Mean kids’ parents suck!
Alright Moms and Dads out there, I need your support. I am amazed by what some kids are allowed to get away with.
When Julia was bald and not feeling or looking so great, though always beautiful to us of course, no one would ever let their child stare or comment. If they even looked at her too long someone would say something to intercede and redirect. The world around us had sympathy and understood how much those things could hurt. Kids don’t know that they are being mean or that their words and actions can scar others and they rely on the adults in charge to guide them.
So now Greg is continuing on his journey with Aspergers Syndrome and he is struggling even harder in some ways than Jules ever did. Why is it that these same people think it is okay to torment a child who is different but without visible handicaps? I could just scream! My poor guy went to a Weblos Pack Meeting and was so excited! He just loves putting on his uniform, learning everything in the handbook and working on acquiring badges. We figured it is a fairly uncompetitive activity and what could possibly go wrong? Well … not so much.
My husband’s version goes as so: As the boys are sitting in their seats one of the boys starts making fun of Greg, poking him, hitting his hat off his head … you get the picture. We have all seen it before. The difference is most of us would never let this behavior continue. Yet there is an assembly full of parents and no one says anything. Greg had to move and then continued to get picked on by the kid and his buddy who moved their seats. Dad finally tells Greg he can defend himself and he won’t get in trouble.
NOT the answer I would go with if I was there. Besides, due to Greg being Greg and his not being the type of kid who ever would upset anyone else, the advice is basically useless. He would NEVER hit anyone … well maybe his sister if extremely frustrated … he is human after all! I really believe the problem stems from the parents of these type of kids who don’t reign them in and educate them in right vs. wrong and basic humanity! Am I wrong?
He is 9 years old but a very immature and emotional 9, as Aspergers kids are. He IS different from the other kids. He is extremely loving and giving and willing to do anything to please anyone … a perfect target for a bully. Does that mean he should tolerate being bullied for the rest of his childhood and teendom? I ask you … what do I advise my child? I am open to any and all advice short of me going over and ringing the kids doorbell myself.
Thanks and grant me
Peace,
K
Wow! I am so sorry your son went through this. I have an 11 yr old with Asperger’s and bullying is something we struggle with.
It seems the emotional/social differences between our kids and others gets greater as they get older.
If I could give you any piece of advice it would be not to ignore this. Possibly go to the leaders and talk to them about creating a meeting around differences and empathy. Talk to your son about how it made him feel, problem solve some solutions and maybe do some social stories around it.
In the end I’d say just trust your gut. I’ve learned that the hard way. You are your son’s best advocate and probably know in your heart the way to go.
Take care!
Accidental Expert´s last blog ..How Inclusive is Inclusion Anyway?
Thank you so much for your advice and understanding. I have already spoke to a den leader and don’t think I will let it stop there. Tomorrow I have an unrelated conference with his teacher so the the fun never stops! I know you understand. Hugs to you and your family.
kathy´s last blog ..Mean kids’ parents suck!
I have a 9 year old son so this hit so close to my heart. I would be so devestated. Personally, I liked your husband’s advice. I know..I know. When my son was 8, a kid in the neighborhood came over to play basketball. Well, the kid hit my son. My son cried and came in the house. I was so furious that some kid would hit my son. We told our son that he is never to start a fight but he has permission to end it. The next time, this boy comes over again…he’s a neighbor boy who really isn’t a big threat. However, he went to push my son. My son took him to the ground. I hear a scuffle outside, I look and see my son on top of this kid. He did not hit him. He only prevented the kid from getting up so the kid could not try to push him again. I stood proud. Proud my son stood up for himself and proud he did not use excessive force to do it. He and this kid are now friends! lol.
Your son may be a different case, as I am not familar with how to handle a child with Asperger’s. Your son sounds very sweet. I would have talked to the leaders. This was not done in secret. Why didn’t an adult intervene? Your child should not have to put up with this type of behavior.
I am sorry I have no real advice. Kids today are not disciplined. They are not taught to love others but to love themselves. Kids are taught to put their needs first. I see it all the time. My 4 year old had a pink ball in church. Well, another little girl came by and took it from her. My 4 year old would NEVER dream of taking something from another child. She is FAR from perfect. However, she listens to authority figures and respects other people’s property. I am not saying I am a perfect parent. I am far from that…I depend on the mercy and grace of the Lord to get by. However, it doesn’t take the world’s best parent to do the job of teaching respect.
I do pray you find a solution. I think it’s heartbreaking that your son has to deal with this.
Ida Red (aka) Richele´s last blog ..Developing a Taste for Living Books
It is so refreshing to hear from parents that do care. Thank you for raising children that will some day be an asset to our world!!! Keep on doing what you are doing. <3
It was the den leaders responsibility to be in control of this situation, and after all, the male leaders are supposed to be the role models for these boys. So sorry you had to go through this.How can you ask a child to manage what an adult won’t? Sorry, I don’t really have much advice, just understanding.
I fully agree that “mean kids’ parents suck!!! Whenever a kid is habitually mean, I look at the parents and usually get my answer as to where it comes from!!!
It’s a shame any parent would let their child pick on another. If my son did something like that he would be in so much trouble. I’m sorry your family had to go through that. -Victoria from MBC